The Ten Rules for wearing Foot Jewelry

Anklets and toe rings…how do you feel about them? Personally, I am not a fan of either for myself. That is not to say that I think they NEVER work…they just don’t work on certain women. For example, Andy in the Devil Wears Prada is shown wearing a toe ring after her wild night in Paris. My reaction “Ugh! Why is she wearing a toe ring!” I mean does she REALLY want to be wearing an inflexible metal band around one of her toes when she is going to be squeezing her feet into some major stilettos? Don’t toes already suffer enough from the restricting corset that is the sexy pointy toe shoe? When do toe ring work? They work with flip flops, slides or any other shoe that leaves the toe completely restriction free. They work barefoot on the beach with your dog on your left playing the waves and your man on your right holding your hand. Perhaps it would have worked on “early Andy” who’s most precious accessory was the smallest Tiffany Lima Bean necklace, but “urban glamazon Andy” in a toe ring was just wrong.

The Ten Rules for wearing Foot Jewelry:

1. Foot Jewelry is always appropriate on the beach and in beach towns. However, if you actually intend on swimming in the ocean you might do well to consider that flashy shiny objects might attract sharks, and plan accordingly.
2. Toe rings are best worn with open toed shoes. I think this was what I considered most wrong about Fab Andy wearing a toe ring…the thought of how terribly uncomfortable a toe ring would be in stilettos.
3. Anklets are best worn with shoes lacking ankle straps, to avoid entanglement and busy-ness. They should also not be worn with tennis shoes…unless you normally dress in juxtaposing styles.
4. Never wear foot jewelry with pantyhose or tights. The event that precipitated this post actually involved an egregious anklet sighting. DO NOT WEAR AN ANKLET WITH PANYHOSE! Don’t do it!! It just looks tacky and it will cause runs.
5. Avoid foot jewelry if you have cankles, as they just attract attention to an unattractive feature.
6. Foot jewelry should be somewhat simple and should not be adorned with stones. Nothing screams I have more money than taste like a pave diamond toe ring. A barefoot beach wedding may call for a little foot bling, or if you were randomly invited to a black tie barefoot on the beach event you might also be able to get away with foot bling.
7. Certain personal styles just lend themselves to foot jewelry, bohemian and surfer styles are especially well suited.
8. Women of a certain age wearing anklets inevitably end up looking like they are trying to reclaim their lost youth OR find a new place to wear gold. These are typically the same group that wears anklets under pantyhose. So, if your natural hair color is now more than 50% grey, you should think hard before donning foot jewelry, especially if you don’t live in a beach community or artists commune.
9. If you choose to wear foot jewelry make sure you keep your feet looking presentable and pretty, that means regular pedicures.
10. Wear one piece of foot jewelry at a time. Multiple anklets just look sloppy.

**All bets are off if your foot jewelry reflects your cultural identity. For example, I’ve never seen a more charming anklet than the Hawaiian lei anklet pictured above!!

Images from www.withouraloha.com and www.jeanasjewels.co.uk