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17 April 2008

How did you deal with vicious gossip?

"How did you deal with vicious gossip?" or "Life is so not fair"

Well, Serena vanDerWoodsen dealt with gossip by running away to Europe or boarding school or whatever. Blair Waldorf has been handling particularly vile gossip with the typical Waldorf flair. Tragically, these ladies are hardly role models and definitely about 100% removed from the reality of everyday life for most of us. Then again, hopefully the vicious gossip you are facing is not because you slept with your best friend's significant other.

I would say my worst encounter with gossip was in high school. I was on the newspaper staff and had desperately wanted to be editor-in-chief my senior year for my entire high school career. I had been editor of the features section for one year and had introduced many popular features. I had also done a great job of teaching my staff how to edit and design layouts. In short, I rocked. I mean seriously, you've read this blog, do you have any doubt?

So, one week I was super stressed out because I had 2 exams in AP classes and I was going to be out of town for a state wide competition for most of the week. My editing slipped a bit, I turned in my proofs and went out of town. The assistant news editor, who also had designs on the position of editor-in-chief, spent the greater part of one class period (when I was out of town) making fun of me for doing such a horrible editing job WITH THE PAPER ADVISER! I found out about it from my staff when I returned. I felt totally betrayed because this girl was my friend, and the adviser...well, she was my teacher!

After that I think I went and sobbed about it to my guidance counselor who was possibly the coolest man on the face of the earth. You would have to be a special man to be an high school guidance counselor to begin with, much less the favorite counselor in a school of 3,000 kids. I didn't really do any damage control on the Newspaper, I think I just kind of wrote it off, but at the same time hoped for the best. I thought the fact that I was the best girl for the job would shine through and I would get the job. Deep down I knew I was not going to get it, so I started to make other arrangements. I checked in with the yearbook staff and the student "leadership" class as alternatives. I, of course, did not get the job as editor-in-chief. It was a cruel blow. I promptly quit the newspaper staff and took up with plan b, but not before I went and sobbed to my guidance counselor yet again.

There are a few options for dealing with gossip, which can often cause a lot of damage to your life and reputation. You can ignore the gossip, and hope it goes away. It probably will eventually, but it might also cause you a lot of problems. You can try to do a bit of damage control, if possible. You can obviously set the story straight with your friends, although tragically it might be one of your friends who started the rumor. Overall, things are probably going to suck, and you are probably going to suffer. Today's news is tomorrow's will survive. My most important advice is: never let the people who are trying to make you suffer see you cry, never let them see you upset. Go home each day and pamper yourself by reading a great book, taking a long bath and drinking an iced venti non-fat chai so that you will be relaxed and prepared to do battle again tomorrow. Take solace in your true friends, your support network will help you get through anything.

1 comment:

flutterbyblue said...

I agree, vicious gossip SUCKS. You would think that once people grow up they would move beyond such silly pettiness, but they don't. Rising above it all is hard. I've generally taken the ignore-it-and-act-like-it-doesn't-bother-me-in -the-least approach. However, sometimes, you really do need to step in and defend yourself, at least among the people you respect, care for or admire. Sometimes you need to step in for others as well (if the vicious gossip is not directed at you in particular), but that can be a more difficult task.