I'm sure that all of you lovely blog readers are fully aware of texts from last night, the website that posts texts generally submitted by inebriated people, or forwarded from friends of inebriated people. I bet you've never noticed the wisdom in these titillating tidbits. There are suprising lessons to be learned from TFLN, as you will see below. I would classify the following as kind of R-rated, which eliminates about half of all the posts on website which I would give an NC-17. I just can't bring myself to defile C&C with such dirty shenanigans. Leave your favorite TFLN in the comments.
On how to make a condom magically appear:
(415): and you said?
(510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
On the dangers of ambien, after hearing tales from MD friends, I totally believe that this could be true:
(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Even cops sometimes have a sense of humor...then again there is probably not much to keep them entertained in New Mexico. A cop once complemented me on my toga when we arrived at a party at the same time...he was there to break it up. I told him I was real disappointed because I'd never been to a toga party before.
List your parents and siblings as "mom" "dad" "sister" etc. in your cell phone to avoid this
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Personally, I think this is a totally classy move:
Attention exs and parents, they will usually check you out at customer service. I totally sold condoms, lube and monistat to my friend's parents when I worked in a grocery store in high school. SO WRONG!