How did you deal with vicious gossip?

"How did you deal with vicious gossip?" or "Life is so not fair"

Well, Serena vanDerWoodsen dealt with gossip by running away to Europe or boarding school or whatever. Blair Waldorf has been handling particularly vile gossip with the typical Waldorf flair. Tragically, these ladies are hardly role models and definitely about 100% removed from the reality of everyday life for most of us. Then again, hopefully the vicious gossip you are facing is not because you slept with your best friend's significant other.

I would say my worst encounter with gossip was in high school. I was on the newspaper staff and had desperately wanted to be editor-in-chief my senior year for my entire high school career. I had been editor of the features section for one year and had introduced many popular features. I had also done a great job of teaching my staff how to edit and design layouts. In short, I rocked. I mean seriously, you've read this blog, do you have any doubt?

So, one week I was super stressed out because I had 2 exams in AP classes and I was going to be out of town for a state wide competition for most of the week. My editing slipped a bit, I turned in my proofs and went out of town. The assistant news editor, who also had designs on the position of editor-in-chief, spent the greater part of one class period (when I was out of town) making fun of me for doing such a horrible editing job WITH THE PAPER ADVISER! I found out about it from my staff when I returned. I felt totally betrayed because this girl was my friend, and the adviser...well, she was my teacher!

After that I think I went and sobbed about it to my guidance counselor who was possibly the coolest man on the face of the earth. You would have to be a special man to be an high school guidance counselor to begin with, much less the favorite counselor in a school of 3,000 kids. I didn't really do any damage control on the Newspaper, I think I just kind of wrote it off, but at the same time hoped for the best. I thought the fact that I was the best girl for the job would shine through and I would get the job. Deep down I knew I was not going to get it, so I started to make other arrangements. I checked in with the yearbook staff and the student "leadership" class as alternatives. I, of course, did not get the job as editor-in-chief. It was a cruel blow. I promptly quit the newspaper staff and took up with plan b, but not before I went and sobbed to my guidance counselor yet again.

There are a few options for dealing with gossip, which can often cause a lot of damage to your life and reputation. You can ignore the gossip, and hope it goes away. It probably will eventually, but it might also cause you a lot of problems. You can try to do a bit of damage control, if possible. You can obviously set the story straight with your friends, although tragically it might be one of your friends who started the rumor. Overall, things are probably going to suck, and you are probably going to suffer. Today's news is tomorrow's trash...you will survive. My most important advice is: never let the people who are trying to make you suffer see you cry, never let them see you upset. Go home each day and pamper yourself by reading a great book, taking a long bath and drinking an iced venti non-fat chai so that you will be relaxed and prepared to do battle again tomorrow. Take solace in your true friends, your support network will help you get through anything.

How do you deal with a clingy boyfriend?

So, one of my lovely readers, "q" recently emailed me and asked if I would write a mini series about how I handled the trials and tribulations of my recent youth. I seldom get reader requests and she wrote such a fabulous email that I did not feel I could deny her! So, for the next few days I will be writing to answer her questions, and any others that readers email me over the next couple of days...just keep in mind (1) I will do my best to stay somewhat anonymous (2) my mother, sister, mother-in-law, aunts, cousins and grandmother read this blog, so there are certain topics I will be avoiding!

"How do you deal with a clingy boyfriend?"
or
"Why you should not date older men in college"

I don't know that I've ever had a clingy boyfriend. I think I might have been a clingy girlfriend. My "boyfriend" at the time dealt with it by telling me that we were only dating and as such were open to see other people (don't do that).

It happened that a guy in one of my history classes asked me out on a date a few days later. I thought he was a nice guy, was so not attracted to him, but said yes to prove that I could date other people. I felt like the worst person in the entire universe five minutes later. Fortunately, the guy called and canceled an hour before our date because he had a flat tire and I was so relieved that I think I sounded kind of excited and happy that he had canceled. So, he never talked to me ever again, even though we sat next to each other in class.

A few days later my "boyfriend" broke up with me and I was pretty bitter about the whole thing for a long time. There was bad behavior on both ends, but I guess I was kind of awful about it because we dated like five years ago, and now we are both married and it is still really awkward when I run into him at alumni events, which is sad because he is actually a pretty nice guy and we have a lot of the same friends. I think our relationship is evidence that a 23 year old should never date a 19 year old, the maturity difference is way too big. Not to mention, it was a little creepy to be dragging "that guy who already graduated" (and has a chin strap beard) to undergrad keggers (BURN!).

So, in conclusion, I did not really answer the question. I suppose if pressed, I would say a clingy boyfriend is probably feeling a bit insecure. Try to reassure him of your commitment to him in subtle, ego boosting ways. If you really like him, it is probably also a good idea to be sensitive to his issues and avoid overtly flirting with other boys in front of him. In the end, clingy people are sometimes meant to mate with their own kind. Things might not work out because you are an independent woman, and he is not yet an independent man...this may change as he matures, or he may be clingy forever.

Image from themoviebinge

Introducing Charming Chat

Introducing Charming Chat, the new podcast brought to you by Chic and Charming! I have been able to figure out how to do almost everything except post one of those little players in my actual blog. So, my dear readers, you will have to CLICK HERE to hear my first podcast and find out what Charming Chat is all about!

If you would like to subscribe to my podcast via RSS (ie on your blog reader) click here:

I will keep you posted each time I put up a new podcast! I am not on iTunes yet, but I hope to be listed within the month so that you can automatically download Charming Chat to your iPod!

PS. Kori from The Fashion-y Blog said that my new podcast reminded her of this article. She was right on point! Think of Charming Chat as your cultural attaché!

Ten years and he's still not popped the question?

FYI: Leap Year is the traditional time that women can propose marriage.

Image from laissezfaire

Sophia Started an Online Store!

I've been thinking for several months about the best way to monetize my blog. I know Chic and Charming is a young blog, but I have been getting offers here and there via email. I never felt that any of my contacts provided an advertising arrangement that I was completely happy with. I really like the idea of having total control over what I am promoting, which is, of course, not the best approach earning money, but it is the approach I plan to take on Chic and Charming.

Recently, The Coveted got a face lift and added a book store. I thought this was such a brilliant idea! So, I investigated further and discovered that Amazon allows you to set up your own "shop" using their products. They host the shop for free and you get a small portion of any sale from your website. I feel this is absolutely perfect for Chic and Charming! I often post my favorite products and interesting finds on Chic and Charming, and now I will also post them in my shop to perhaps get a little return for making the recommendations. I promise not to change the variety of products that I share. I will continue to feature finds from independent artists along side more commercialized items that love for find interesting.

My shop will be updated pretty frequently over the next few days, and after that I will update every few weeks with new interesting products. I've started out with the following categories:

• Sophia's Recommendations: products Sophia uses on a regular basis and loves
• Chic and Stylish: fun accessories to make your life and your look even more fabulous!
  
• Charm School: Etiquette books, home keeping, cooking, stationary and more
• Chic Decor: Items to make your home more beautiful
• Buy to Be Audrey Hepburn: a section dedicated to accessories, clothing and home decor that Audrey or her most famous characters might have loved. There is also a curated selection of her movies!
• Buy to Be Marilyn Monroe: similar to the above category, but for Marilyn
  
• Chic and Charitable: chock full of items that support charity
• Chic and Green: leave a small carbon footprint and lead a healthy life with style
  
• The Charming Dandy: goodies for the guys

Image adapted from www.denness.net

Ten ways to be Fabulous

One of my favorite bloggers, Ashe Mischief over at dramatis personae, has put the following question out to her readers:

"What do you think makes someone fabulous? Who are those you admire and find fabulous traits and inspiration in?"

I've decided to answer her call Chic and Charming style with one of my top ten posts (originally inspired by flickr's 10things group and Ms. P&C). Here are a few of my tips on how to be fabulous:

1. Laugh at yourself, especially if other people are going to anyway. You might as well lead the charge.
   
2. Know when to be selfless and when to be selfish. Be selfless: volunteer your time with local charities, listen to your heartbroken friend rehash her breakup for the sixtieth time, always help your friends move, skip lunch and give your sandwich to the homeless man on the street. Be selfish: eat the last cupcake, sleep until noon, spend the extra money on a silk nightgown, refuse to wash the dishes for two days because you don't want to chip your manicure.
3. Read: Colette, Coetzee, Capote, Wilde, etc.
   
4. If your girlfriend says "Her-meees" instead of "'ermesz" when talking about a Birkin, correct her once the two of you are alone. While a fabulous girl never lets another fabulous girl embarrass herself, she would never want to point out a mistake in front of other people.
5. Don't be a label whore. It has been years since anyone looked fabulous carrying a Louis Vuitton Speedy.
6. Vote.
7. Plan to eat healthy, but don't be too hard on yourself when you slip up and eat four mini burgers topped with truffled mayo and roasted garlic, washed down with a makers mark old fashioned with extra cherries.
   
8. Entertain often and with style. Know how to mix classic cocktails. Use cocktail napkins and real martini glasses. Decorate your house with fresh flowers. Spritz your guest bed sheets with lavendar spray.
9. Send thank you notes for dinner parties, gifts and favors on bespoke letterpress stationary with lined envelopes. Shun evite in favor of the paper invite.
   
10. Don't follow the rules ;)

I don't remember my image sources as I've had these on my hard drive for a while. If one of these is yours: comment and I will give you credit. Obviously one is from the Marie Antoinette and one is from Amalie.

Lazy Martha: Trader Joe's Chocolate Croissants

Croissants are among the most challenging baked goods for the home baker to make themselves. It takes DAYS to produce the final result and even then you might experience failure...very demoralizing. Fortunately there is a genius working in the Trader Joe frozen food development department who had created frozen pan au chocolat. I knew after the first bite that I HAD to share these delicate pastries with all the world, and I am not alone...every review of Trader Joe's chocolate croissants that I have seen on the internet as been overwhelmingly positive. You simply place the frozen pastry on a cookie sheet at room temperature as you go to bed, the next morning you slip the miraculously puffy dough into the oven for 25 minutes. Viola! Delicious, hot and perfectly puffy pan au chocolat that rivals the from scratch pastries you might purchase in a French bakery IN PARIS. Yes, I am not exaggerating, these pastries are THAT DELICIOUS! I have absolutely no reason to ever make a weekend pastry run every again. I cannot wait until the next time I have an overnight guest, because I will be knocking their socks off by serving these perfect pastries for breakfast!

Image from heateatreview.com

Lazy Martha: Table Setting

You are planning an intimate dinner for six with a menu fit to impress an heiress, do you know how to set the table to match? What utensils do you use with the oyster appetizer? You plan to serve white wine with the oysters and red wine with the steak, how are you supposed to arrange the glasses? You can answer all of these difficult questions with the click of a button at BrightSettings Table Linens. Simply choose what courses and beverages you plan to serve by checking a box, click the "set table" button and a picture of your place setting pops on to the screen. What could be easier? The website also has information on napkin folding, table spacing and guest spacing at a table, making it immensely useful for the aspiring Martha.

Image from BrightSettings Table Linens

New Year's traditions

Here I present a collection of New Year's traditions to insure your own happiness and prosperity, compiled from a handful of completely unreliable internet sources:

• Kiss everyone you care about at the stoke of midnight, not doing so could result in a loss of affection over the next 12 months.
  
• Nothing can be removed from your home on New Years Day, not even trash!
• Wear brand new clothes on New Year's Day in order to insure that you receive plenty of new clothes throughout the year.
• Make sure that the first person to cross your threshold after the stroke of midnight is a tall, dark handsome man bearing gifts....hmmm, I wish that happened everyday!
  

Image from online-toast-writer.com

Late, but late in high style!

Try as I might, I simply was not able to get Holiday greeting cards out the door this year. I joked with my Grandmother that my typical pattern for sending holiday cards out tends to be address all of my envelopes one year and then write each message and actually send out the cards the next year. I had resigned myself to the fact I had simply been too overwhelmed with other things to send out my cards this year, and then I found a simply fabulous set on sale 50% off. My Snow and Graham greeting cards are letter press accordion fold with the lovely sentiment: "May the most you wish for be the least you get in the new year." The cards are so beautiful it seems a shame to do anything more than sign my name on them, so I might succumb to the temptation to print out an enclosure with the generic reporting of the year's happening. It is kind of tragic. I feel like I am contributing to the demise of the hand written note. But, I now understand why so many women, especially with children, choose this route of communication, their options are to send out the mass mailing or to send nothing at all. I think most of my friends will get over it as this is the cutest card they could possibly receive this holiday season.

Find yourself in a similar situation? These cards are also on sale online at Red Stamp.

Image from redstamp.com

Preliminary Birthday Menu

Having tragically passed all major milestone birthdays, next month I officially will be one year closer to retirement. Yay? At any rate that means another fabulous fete hosted by yours truly. This year I've decided on a birthday brunch, because after all what girl doesn't like an excuse to tipple champagne at 11 am? Menu planning has to be one of my favorite parts of hosting a party. I start dreaming up the perfect spread months in advance, and this party will be no exception! Here is what I am currently thinking:

Drinks!

• Deluxe Fizz Bar with pink champagne, raspberry puree, peach puree, Creme de Cassis and fresh OJ
• Jasmine pearl green tea, Black tea with rose petals, Citrus based herbal tea
• Iced Lattes

Pastry

• Scones with clotted cream and rose petal jam
  
• Fresh Croissants: Chocolate, Apricot, Gruyere
• Sticky Buns

Mains

• Ham, cheddar, roasted tomato quiche
• Cheddar cheese grits
• Thick cut applewood smoked bacon
• Fresh Fruit with some sort of honey mint dressing
  
• Something else? Hmmm...

Dessert

• Croquembouche
• Homemade Valrhona Hot Chocolate
  

Image from pamelabaldwin.com

Nectar of the Gods

On a whim, I ordered Belle de Brillet for dessert this evening. It was sweet, delectable pear nectar! Highly recommended.

Image from brillet.fr

Etsy Holiday Guide: Stationary

For the first day of the Etsy Holiday Guide, we will be focusing on Stationary! Don't forget to check out Poetic and Chic, Flutterbyblue, and Sfgirlbybay as they've helped build the guide and may be posting some of their picks too!

My undisputed favorite stationary shop on etsy is crankbunny. Crankbunny sells popup cards and hand made puppets designed by Norma V. Toraya, an immensely talented artist and animator. I would highly recommend checking out some of her work on her homepage, including this animation clip. Crankbunny pop up cards are more than a card, they are a piece of artwork that will be cherished by those who receive them for their whimsy and artistry!

Turtle Papers is another one of my favorite stationary vendors on etsy. This shop carries a wide range of products, from feminine note cards to adorable baby t-shirts. Turtle paper products have been featured in Daily Candy and on the Domino Magazine blog! Their baby products have been baby shower gifts for some of the hottest Hollywood mommies (Gwen S., Angelina J.)! Their designs are irresistibly adorable, and many cases personalizable! Any best fried would be trilled to receive a the Parisian flat note set or Whimsy flat note set personalized with their name or initial!

My final three stationary picks are all etsy letterpress shops. I simply adore letterpress stationary. The printing technique speaks to my affinity for old fashioned craftsmanship, while the products being turned out in these etsy shops are decidedly modern.

The first etsy letterpress shop of note is Sarah Ridgley Letterpress. My favorite items from this shop are the custom monogrammed coasters, which would make a perfect gift for a newlywed! Ridgley also sells adorable stationary sets with skull and crossbones motifs, crown motifs and carnival style mask motifs! Ridgley, an attorney by day, has also had her work featured online at design*sponge.

The next letterpress etsy shop on my list is the mod Pepperina Press. This press turns out cards graced with adorable retro silhouettes in pink and orange, in addition to some adorable blue Christmas cards. I am a big fan of the Vespa Cards.

Last, but not least, I present the cheeky Pressa Russa which sells letterpress stationary and calling cards, as well as adorable button cards. My favorite button card is the thank you card, that says "Merci!" with a little button portrait that looks a lot like Marie Antoinette! Pressa Russa printing is done on a tiny letterpress with vintage print blocks with charming results. I love the calling cards, which come with a custom matching case for just $16.50...a great deal!

PS: Absolutely Beautiful Things posted etsy greeting cards today too!

Images for each of these shops were lifted from their etsy store.

Hint, Hint Honey!

I stumbled across an absolutely brilliant online store the other day. It is a rare person who remembers that the appropriate gift to give your significant other for your sixth anniversary is iron. And, an even rare person to think of a perfect present that contains iron! The Anniversary Present is an online store which does all of the work for you. For example, they've come up with a golf weekend outing for your athletic honey on your sixth anniversary (Iron=five iron golf club...). For your ten year anniversary, which happens to be your tin anniversary, they sell a Ferrari driving experience or an adorable picnic lunch in a tin box. Currently, I am most looking forward to my 40 year ruby anniversary, as I am obsessed with rubies...just 39.5 years left to go!

Halloween Cocktail Party, Post Mortem

I survived my Halloween party...even better I managed to have a lot of fun despite all the cooking. My husband has a theory that I love Halloween so much because it gives me the opportunity to wear all of my eccentric treasures...the items that I knew were ridiculously impractical in the store, yet they were simply irresistible. For example, my collection of hats, my hot pink elbow length leather gloves, my fishnets...I continually changed my accessories throughout the party and even let some of my friends play dress up too.

As I meandered through the grocery store collecting the goodies for my party I started to think about how much my entertaining style has changed over the years. When I began my career as a hostess I would invite every single person I knew to my party via evite. These days I choose to curate the guest list and perhaps even hand out real invitations. This is not necessarily because I like the people who end up getting invited more, it is because I'm looking for a certain balance in the guest list. If more than one group of friends is invited I don't want the party to be overwhelmed by any one clique. I still inevitably end up feeling a little guilty about this, but its better that all my guests feel comfortable than to have a friend from the gym overwhelmed and excluded by 50 people from work talking shop.

The invites are not the only thing that has changed: the food and booze has seen a considerable upgrade. Unfortunately, with a transition from pretzels and cheetos to risotto and quiche comes a serious increase in preparation time. I thought that I had done fairly well in choose lots of semi-premade goodies to serve at the party, but I still ended up cooking for the first half of the party...tragic! I think the thing that made me the most cranky was the fact that all of my guests had to look at my disastrous kitchen. I am looking forward to the day when I can upgrade to a home with a closed off kitchen, so that my my mess stays hidden from my entertaining space. I would also love to reach the level where I can hire someone to come in and finish off the last little bit of cooking, keep the platters stocked with food and keep guests glasses full!

Halloween Cocktail Party II

Several weekends of being out of town or having guests in town wreaked havoc on my house. In fact, I had to recruit my sister to come over and help clean things up. I must have the best sister ever to drag her butt out to the burbs and clean my kitchen in exchange for Indian food. SO, my house is finally clean and my favorite new diptyque candle is burning, while I plan my party menu for my little Halloween fete.

Drinks

• Cosmo punch made with black vodka
• Pink Champaign
• A selection of Belgian beers
• Shirley Temples
• To go cups filled with hot caramel apple cider at the end of the night

Premade Snacks

• Chocolate covered pretzel bites sprinkled with little round rainbow sprinkles
• Dean and Deluca Creme Brulee Almonds (they are to-die-for)
• D&D Dark Chocolate Rum Balls
• Kookaburra licorice in Mango and Strawberry
• Red Fire Pecans from Vosges
  
• Humus in two flavors with D&D spiced pita chips
• Chips of some sort
  

Heavy Hors d'oeuvres

• Cheese Fondue with different veggies and breads for dipping, including rosemary breadsticks
• Pumpkin risotto topped with roasted pumpkin seeds served on individual spoons
• Butternut squash soup topped with spiced unsweetened whipped cream served in individual cauldrons
• Bite size insalata caprese served in mini phyllo cups
• Mini quiches in 3 flavors
• Sweet potato steak fries topped with caramelized brown sugar, served with a bacon creme fraiche dip

Dessert

• Warmed chocolate and caramel sauces with chocolate marshmallows, dried strawberries and miniature apples (a melon baller is used to scoop little spheres out of a normal sized apple...I saw it on iron chef) for dipping into the sauces and then into crushed nuts or crushed cookies
• A friend might supplement dessert with some red velvet cupcakes! Yum!

All of this is to be prepared in about 2 hours on Wednesday after work...oh to be an unambitious hostess.

Halloween Cocktail Party I

I am having a few friends over for drinks on Halloween, and I've been obsessing over the menu. I was out of town in North Carolina this weekend and took the opportunity to partake in some foodie tourism...one of my favorite tourist activities. At Dean and Deluca I picked up some dried strawberries, which are totally black and are therefore perfect for Halloween. I also picked up some creme brulee almonds and chocolate rum balls...delish! My other foodie stop was Fresh Market, where I picked up some rosemary bread sticks for dipping into fondue and a variety of candy, including Kookaburra Licorice in strawberry and mango. Yum!!!
Image from crescent-bakery.com

Male Restroom Etiquette

This is completely hilarious, although I've now been told by several men these rules do not apply to restrooms during sporting events.

How to fold those pesky fitted sheets

For Lazy Martha I usually offer tips for how to cut some corners in your home keeping, but still achieve that magical Martha end result. Today I reference Martha heself on how to fold fitted sheets. Martha's method for sheet folding doesn't take much more time than sloppily folding those fitted sheets into a lop sided bundle. The end results from properly folding your fitted sheets are beautiful to the point that you can fearlessly stack your linens on an open shelf. As an added bonus you will find that you save space becuase properly folded sheets are much more compact!
Image from Martha Stewart Online.

Coffee anyone?

I am totally loving these mirrored coffee cups, which reflect words off of their saucer. The words on the saucer are distorted, but when reflected in the cup they magically become perfectly readable! I've not been able to find them for sale online anywhere...has anybody else seen the around?
Flutterbyblue found them for sale online in the UK! Even cooler: you can get custom cups with your own logo or word on them!!
Image from http://normaldesign.net/normal/en/show.php?product=5